The White Stop

ESL Group Story Writing Class 28th July 2011

In our Story Writing Class we all practise our written English skills as a group and form a story through taking turns in sentence writing.  Sometimes it makes sense and sometimes not but always the class comes up with something new and interesting.  Our class was given homework to read the story and compare the finished story with their original typed sentences from class.  This was to show the little changes in grammar and context and help all to understand better construction.  They are usually only very small changes but it helps to see where we can all improve.  This is all their work showcased as it was intended.  Another fun offering!  :)  I did use UK spelling here for corrections but it makes no difference if one uses U.K. or U.S. types.

Savanna

 The White Stop

"It's been raining cats and dogs all day today"  said the old lady to another man standing next to her. The man looked at her with eyes wide open and said "What do you mean?"   The lady laughed, her dark eyes sparkled as tiny rain drops ran down her face.   "Oh dear, I'm sorry.  That just means it's been raining very hard.  There's lot of silly sayings in my language.  "Well I'm glad bus stop still mean the bus stops here" said the man.    

"I'm waiting for the bus to hell.  Do you want to come with me, old lady? We'll meet demons and monsters  and we'll have to fight them.  I can see the lights approaching. What do you say?"

The old woman with a wide smile on her face took her bag and showed a present.  "Merry Christmas!" she added "I don´t think demons are able to fight at Christmas."

A child began to weep suddenly.  The poor little child had been waiting all year for Christmas to arrive.  She had even been hoping to be on Santa's good list.  The bus stopped and the old lady, the man and the crying child got on. On the bus the lady gave a present to the child and she stopped crying.

Suddenly, a Santa broke into a bus, he looked so calm.  He had a nice gift for the child.  There was a lovable puppy when the box was opened.

The Crowd of people on the bus noticed the family enjoying themselves on holiday.  The family was all sitting in a circle around a camp fire, warming their hands.  The bus driver rang the bell and yelled,  "put out the campfires, it's time to start riding again or hell will be cold when we get there".

The old woman took her bag again and showed him a nice photo.  It was paradise.  The photograph was of scenery that had not been seen.  The photo was part of a plane ticket in a brochure.   The family would arrive at the airport at the end of the bus ride.

The family was so excited as they hadn't been on out of the country before. They had always wanted to go away but the place didn't look just like another country, it was more like another planet.  It was very hot, humid and there were strange sounds and smells in the air.

A man after thinking, suggested a nice chill out trip in the large ocean.  He added "I think this is one of the most marvellous trips you can experience in the world".   All said that they wanted to go.  The little child happily chased many coloured butterflies.  The family floated on the ocean waves with no worries at all.

Sleepymoma Resident (T)

Giovanni Tweak (CR)

ricco Ellils

Simontarp Actor

Puma Clarity