Back to Jail

Story writing class: Sunday at 7am PDT
At the end you can read the story before corrections.
 
I had been in jail for 20 years, accused of a murder I didn't commit.
One day, without warning, a guard opened the door of my cell and told me it had been a mistake.
Ten minutes later I was out in the street as a free man.

Before I was out, I got a letter from the guard.

"Meet me outside the strip-club in 30 minutes", had been written across the center of the letter. I glanced across the street towards the club and continued on my journey.

I entered the strip-club, because I didn't know where to go. 30 minutes passed, I was surprised when I saw my old friend, Jay. I greeted him, "Hey dude, how you doing?" He answered me, "Hey, how long you've been there?" It was me who sent to you the message.

I said: "I have been in jail for about 20 years. I watched five Olympic games in prison cell. By the way, last time I met you, before I got caught, you said you had an important thing to tell me. What is that?"

He grabbed my hand and pulled me up beside him on the stage, I was quite nervous but took my clothes off anyway. He began to whisper into my ear.

He whispered, "I will change your life, because I need your help". Suddenly, there was a witch in front of me. She moved her hand around my body and and made a spell using weird words.

She said, "Welcome to this Magic strip-club. From now, you will see an unbelievable show here. This spell gave you power."

My drink had been spiked, this wasn't the first time. I jumped off the stage and landed on a naked prostitute.

I felt so high and my body felt light also. I took one step and i fell into a hole. It was so dark, the surroundings were in 4D, full of new things.

I could see prisoners and guards drinking beer together. There were a lot of nice foods in front of them.
They were enjoying a band's live show. I called some prisoner's name, but they couldn't hear me.
"What is this? It seems like a lot of fun. And, why you all can't see me? I wanna drink beer too!"

To my right stood a hooker and her pimp, "How much do you charge?", I asked. She grabbed me and led the way towards her room.

I was confused, and when I started walking towards her, I got badly dizzy. I stopped walking.
Suddenly, I got teleported to other place.

I was back at the entrance. A staff member asked, "How did you enjoy yourself? Now you should pay for the show. It's 4 million dollars".
I remember I didn't have enough money to play here.
I run away without paying. Outside there were many cops. A policeman said, "Haha, I won. I thought he would run away without paying".
I got caught again.

Goemon Edman
cones2005
Ai12in (CR)

+++++++++++++++++++++
Before corrections

I had been in jail for 20 years, accused of a murder I didn't commit.
One day, without warning, a guard opened the door of my cell and told me it had been a mistake.
Ten minutes later I was out in the street as a free man.

Before I was out, I got a letter from a guard.

"Meet me outside the strip-club in 30 minutes", had been written across the center of the letter. I glanced across the street towards the club and continued on my journey.

I entered the strip-club, because I didn't know where to go. 30 minutes passed, I surpraised when I saw my old friend, Jay. I greeted him, "Hey dude, how you doing?" He answered me, "Hey, how long you've been there?" It was me who sent to you the message.

I said, : "I have been in jail about 20 years… more than 5 olympic game I watched it in the duty cell... By the way, last time I met you before I caught, you said you have important thing to tell me. What was that?"

He grabbed my hand and pulled me up beside him on the stage, I was quite nervous but took my clothes off anyway. He began to whisper into my ear...

He whispered, "I will change your life, because I need your help". Suddenly, there was a witch came in front of me. She moved her hand around my body and spelled me with the weird language.

She said, :"Welcome to this Magic strip-club. From now, you will see unbelievable show here. This mark gave you power."

My drink had been spiked, this wasn't the first time, I jumped off the stage and landed on a naked prostitute.

I felt so high and my body felt light also. I took one stepped and i feel into the hole. It was so dark, I saw surrounded me like 4D, full of new things.

I can see prisoners and guards drink beer together. There are a lot of nice foods in front of them.
And they enjoy band live show. I called some prisoners name, but they can't hear me.
"What is this ??? It seems very fun. And, why you all can't see me? I wanna drink beer too!! "

To my right stood a hooker and her pimp, "how much do you charge?", I asked. She grabbed me and led the way towards her room.

I confused and when I led the way towards her. My head got dizzy badly then I stop walked. Suddenly, I got teleported to other place.

It was entrance here. And staff said "Did you enjoy much? Could you pay fee for that show? It will be 4 million dollars."
I remember I didn't have enough money to play here.
I run away without pay. And outside, there are many police. And some police said, :"Haha, I won. I thought he run away without pay.".
Anyway he got caught again.

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